Be an Adult, Leave Kids Out of It

Childhood is Special, We Need to Keep it That Way 

One of the great things about being a parent is you're able to see the world through the eyes of your child. We’re all in such a rush to grow up that when we do, we completely forget the feeling of being young. It’s somewhat easy to remember being in your 20’s or 30’s since these are the years when major life choices happen (marriage, your first new car, first house, etc). It’s harder to remember being 7 years old and what that actually felt like. 

The carefree attitude of your day, when the biggest thing you had to worry about was whether you were getting chicken nuggets or fish nuggets at lunch (not sure they serve those anymore, thankfully). Being a kid is the greatest. That’s why it’s odd to me that so many parents and people in power are wanting our kids to grow up quicker than they should. 

I listened to gangster rap in high school. You can picture it, suburban white kid in my parents 3,000 square foot house in a nice neighborhood listening to young Black men rapping about their difficult and violent ridden lives. It didn’t make any sense of course, given the fact my life was nothing like theirs. I liked the beats, the various rappers that would enter in and out of a song and quite honestly, I listened to it because my friends did. 

That’s kind of what you do when you’re a kid. You’re more than willing to set aside your individualism to be “one with the herd.” This allows you to not only fit in but avoid scrutiny and judgment. It’s normal and it’s something many grown ups take with them as they enter adulthood. 

Kids are impressionable. I don’t need a Masters degree or a PHd to know this is true. My 16 year old step-daughter has a mind of her own and is quick to separate herself from the herd, no matter the consequence. She’s pretty mature for her age and always has been. 

My 7 year old on the other hand will most likely land somewhere in the middle. Although I don’t see her high school self bullying someone just because her friends are, it’s easy to change who you are to be accepted. This is especially true when you’re young and your entire world view is defined by the circle of friends you have at school and/or the neighborhood where you live. 

Childhood is a great time in our lives. This is especially true during the grammar school years, when the school work load is less, recess is an integral part of your social awareness and your worries in life are at a minimum. 

I wake my daughter up each morning with a puppet show. We take one of her various “stuffies” and I let my so-so voice impressionist talent do the talking. She loves it and considers it part of her morning routine. She’s able to wake up in a good mood and get ready for her day, which most likely centers around what she’s having for lunch or whether her friends will all get along. 

Keep in mind what I’ve just told you. I wake my daughter up each day by mimicking voices with her stuffed animals. I don’t think she sees these animals as real necessarily, but it’s somewhat of an in-between phase in her life. She’s probably assuming her stuffed animals, cartoons, and action figures aren’t real in the same sense that she is, but if they’re not, what else isn’t? It’s a mysterious time in her life when so many things are in question while also providing her with a sense of wonder on a daily basis. 

Why then are we so eager to have our kids grow up so quickly? I’ve talked about this in previous articles, but why would we want to expose children to subjects they couldn’t possibly understand? Sex is certainly one of them and it’s a big one. 

You would never be able to convince me that my 7 year old daughter, the same one who questions whether her "stuffies" have feelings, would know what it means for two adults to have sex. This alone is hard enough for her to fathom. 

Add on top of this the idea of gender fluidity and the like, and we’re simply going down avenues that no child would be able to grasp. Again, there’s zero chance you can tell me they would be able to. They can be conditioned to believe one thing or another, but to fully grasp it would be challenging to near impossible for most children. 

It’s harder and harder to find a movie to watch as well. They’re either Rated G and simply terrible for a family to watch together or PG-13 with way more cursing, violence and sex or sexual innuendos than you’d want your kids to be exposed to. 

We actually loved watching the movie Ready Player One. We’ve seen it more than a few times and all of us agreed it was a great movie. Having said that, the number of times they said “shit” or something similar was tough to take with my then 6 year old watching it with us. Perhaps this makes us bad parents for not watching Clifford 2 for the umpteenth time as a family. I won’t apologize for not subjecting myself to one more viewing of a big dog bumbling about town laying waste in his wake. 

“You’re just getting old.” Perhaps, and this is very true as I constantly have to remind myself how old I am. It’s also true there were curse words and certain inappropriate subjects in the movies of my childhood. More than once I’ve noticed gay slurs in the movies I watched as a kid. Some as late as the mid 2000s in movies like American Pie and those of a similar genre. I don’t condone this either. 

I think featuring same sex couples makes a ton of sense in movies, TV shows and entertainment in general. It’s a facet of our society and one that we should expose children to in a positive way to remove the stigmas that have landed on this population for decades up to this point.

What’s positive? A loving same sex couple raising their children in a happy home would be more positive than a picture of that same couple having sex in a children’s book. Somehow the two get mixed together as the same thing or same level of appropriateness. 

My point in all this is to simply use common sense when it comes to our children. When it comes to my kids, and my biological daughter in particular, she’s my reason for doing just about anything. There is no more important responsibility that I have in this world than to keep her safe, make her happy and provide her with the best childhood possible. This will hopefully lead to her being a responsible adult who will leave a positive mark on society. 

Common sense isn’t common. No doubt you’ve all heard this saying before. This can be light-hearted when speaking about using a turn signal or grilling a burger on the grill but when it comes to kids, it’s tragic. 

Like most things right now, kids are being weaponized for political reasons on both sides of the aisle. Enough. We need to remember that we’re dealing with the future of our great country and the leaders of tomorrow. More importantly, kids represent the best of us. They’re what we once were prior to being jaded, self centered and disillusioned. 

A utopian society is defined as an "ideal society that doesn't exist in reality." It may as well be defined as "an ideal society in which children exist." Don't take that away from them, not just yet. They're too busy anyway, Barbie just called and apparently her dream house needs redecorating. 

It's always something.

Memoirs of a Semi Retiree

The Life Less Traveled, But Worth It 

I’ve had some people follow up with me lately to ask how I’m doing and whether or not I still like not working. I’m not sure who would ever answer that they love to work rather than doing pretty much whatever they want. I’m no different in that regard. Not having the pressures of a full time job weighing me down on a daily basis has been pretty amazing. It’s allowed my head to clear off all the noise and provided me an opportunity to truly think about any number of things that may pop into my head. This has provided me time for a lot of self reflection. 

I’m not a person who enjoys accepting gifts from anyone. I learned a hard lesson when I was younger and received a pair of Air Jordan’s for my 16th birthday. My mother had gone to great lengths to find and buy them for me at the whopping price of $140 ($305 in 2023). Long story short, the shoes were a bit too big and not exactly what I wanted so I was less than appreciative. Through the hurt and frustration in my Mother’s eyes, I learned a valuable lesson to not only appreciate the gifts provided to me but do better in attempting to provide for myself whenever possible. From that moment forward, I would be my “own man” rather than relying on anyone else. 

You can see how this mantra would cause difficulty given my current situation. My wife works, I don’t. Although she’s incredibly understanding of my search to find what I really want to be doing, my own guilt and self loathing can sometimes cause issues for both of us. I obviously love to write and find that it’s both therapeutic and rewarding; however, it’s done nothing to help pay any bills up to this point. 

One of the things I’ve found fascinating are the number of people that I see out and about during the day. I honestly thought everywhere I went would be a ghost town with a few retirees, mom’s with kids or perhaps a dad or two in a similar situation to mine. It’s been amazing to see stores filled with people of all ages and restaurants somewhat bustling in the middle of the day. People are walking around shopping and/or going about their lives, on a Tuesday afternoon no less. I’d been locked inside a conference room or sitting in a cube for so long, I just figured everyone did the same. Obviously that’s not true. 

I even visited a brewery for my birthday a few weeks back. I was alone of course because, well, all my friends have jobs. It was probably the first birthday I can remember where I was by myself. It felt good. It’s liberating to know you can wake up and the day is yours, to do with as you wish. I wanted to have lunch and have a beer, so that’s what I did. Simple. That’s what I’ve been able to validate. 

When you break things down, REALLY break them down, what do we need? Do you NEED the new car, pair of shoes or Apple Watch? Of course not. We buy these things because we can and feel they will provide fulfillment. They do up to a point, but then what? I can’t be the only one who dreams of owning something, finally attaining it and then wonders what’s next. I can tell you what’s next, buying more stuff in an attempt to fill the void. 

Only when you don’t have the ability to buy the things you think you need will you realize you never needed them at all. There was a time when I could buy pretty much anything, within reason of course. If I wanted a boat, chances are I could save for it and have it within a matter of months. The new shoes or Apple Watch I referenced weren’t a big deal either, I could’ve bought them if I wanted them. The reality is, I never did because I’m simply not wired that way. I don’t really care about material things, the pair of Jordans and the episode that followed taught me that at a young age. I’ve never been one to care too much about owning one thing or the other, that’s what made me realize we’d be just fine on less income. 

Is it a struggle at times? Of course. Anytime you take away a large amount of your income it’s going to be tough. Couple this with the worst inflation we’ve seen since the Carter years and the added stress of simply buying new shoes for the kids becomes something to consider and budget around (especially when you don’t want to dip into your savings or incur any debt). Thankfully we planned ahead and paid off debt while locking in a 30 year fixed mortgage at a very low rate. Many Americans aren’t as lucky or didn’t have the forethought to plan for the future. They’re feeling the pain now of the bad decisions made 5 years earlier. 

This is another good lesson to learn. Planning for the future and thinking about where you want to be 1, 5, and 10 years from now are critical to the success of any individual or marriage. When I first “retired”, I didn’t think I’d have to go back to work. My hope was that I’d be able to find something “on the side” that I’d be able to do to help pay for some of our monthly bills. This has proved harder than originally thought. 

Finding the side hustle is hard enough but the fact that everything is so expensive has only exacerbated the need to bring in additional income. I’m now exploring local and/or remote positions that both fit my skill set and align with what I’d like to be doing. Life will continue to throw challenges your way, the ability to pivot and embrace the new path needed to be forged is the key to success. 

I’m an impatient person by nature. It was one of the things I was most worried about when I stopped working. Would I allow myself the ability to breathe and simply enjoy this gift of time off that I’d been given. To a certain extent I’ve done better than I thought. The fact I can go to the gym in the middle of the day while seeing my daughter off to school in the morning and picking her up in the afternoon has been amazing. My routine has been sliced and diced from what I had been used to and that’s been refreshing. 

Not having to run around and stress about work while leaving time for family functions and exercise routines has been life changing. Similar to my comment about seeing people out and about on a Tuesday afternoon, it opened my eyes that my life can be different in the future if I want it to be. 

I used to think that work of any kind was the problem. Perhaps I no longer wanted to work or didn’t have the internal drive to succeed. I’ve shattered this myth by continuing to set routines in my life while doing my best to stay away from a daily binge of Netflix, Amazon Prime or any number of political/social videos featured on X. It’s incredibly easy to fall into the trap of giving in to all of the entertainment options thrown in our face. Just like I don’t eat a pizza everyday (much as I’d like to) staying disciplined and trending toward positive hobbies and interests has proven to be successful. 

So, where does this leave me? Would I say this has been a successful escapade into the depths of the unknown? Simply put, yes. There are days when I miss being able to think of myself as a Vice President at a major bank with a team of folks that work for me. To say otherwise would be lying. And yet, the number of times I think about this and actually care are dwindling by the day. 

My life is better off having taken this unknown path, no matter where it may lead in the end. I was unhappy, depressed and wasn’t providing a happy household for my wife and daughters. Your life is your own, but you also need to consider the people around you who share in your life when making decisions that ultimately affect them. 

If you’re reading this and you’re starting to see the fog forming around your life, consider a step back and a reset. It’s scary and can be challenging at times, but anything worth having always is. 

The State of Our Economy: Transportation

Buckle Up America  

I'm usually quick to defend a current president on economic policy due to the fact much of what's impacting our daily lives may be out of their hands. This is especially true with first term presidents. It's hard to steer a ship as large as the American economy, especially in only four years. There are often times when a president inherits a mess, whether that's an ongoing war or any number of laws passed that won't expire for years down the road. No matter if you're a Republican or Democrat, this is almost always true to some extent. It's not to say policy can't be put in place to move the needle in a different direction, it just may take more time than originally expected.

I’ve heard and read from many on the left that our “economy is strong” and that we’re “doing much better than we were” prior to Biden taking office. Let’s remove identity politics from the equation and focus on the economy. Is this true? Are we better off? I was not only skeptical but wondered how that’s even possible to say given the cost of everything, but I was more than willing to have my mind changed.  

Given this is such a broad based topic that could literally fill multiple textbooks, I figured the best approach was to provide perspective through a series of articles. The first article will focus on transportation with subsequent articles focused on the other two topics. In all, the series will cover the following: 

• Transportation (gas & cars) 

• Housing (rental & ownership)

• Food (specifically groceries) 

I'm not an economist and I'm not claiming to be. I am, however, a consumer of the goods and services being provided to me in America. Those goods and services appear to be way more expensive than they used to be. In the case of transportation, my assumption was reality.

Transportation 

Per Kelley Blue Book (KBB), the new car average transaction price was $48,334 ($44,700 for non luxury cars) as of July 2023. The good news is, transaction prices have dropped 2.7% or $1,335 since the beginning of the year. The not so good news is that transaction prices are 26% higher than in July 2020, where a new car would've cost you $38,378.

As I’m sure many of you are already aware, the reason for the price increases of both new and used cars were directly correlated with a worldwide chip shortage due to Covid. Inventories fell, new cars were scarce and prices rose to record highs. Inventory was much lower than what's considered normal (60 days). As of July 2023, we're close to normalized once again as the auto industry stocked 56 days worth of vehicles per KBB.

Per a recent search on Market Watch, the average car loan across all credit scores is 6.58% for new cars and 11.17 for used cars. Even if you had a Superprime credit score (781-850) your rate would exceed 5% (5.07% to be exact). Depending on where you look and how the data is sliced, these rates could be quite a bit higher. So, what does this mean if you’re looking to buy a car? 

July 2023 

Avg Price of New Car	Monthly Payment
48,334*	$967

*6% sales tax included, financed for 60 months

overall amount financed $51,234 @ 5%

July 2020

Avg Price of New Car	Monthly Payment
38,378*	$768

*6% sales tax included, financed for 60 months

overall amount financed $40,681 @ 4%

As you can see, with zero down and the interest rates where they are, we’re looking at paying close to $1,000 a month for a new car. When compared to July 2020, that same car cost $10,000 less while your monthly payment was $200 lower each month. That represents a 20% increase.  

We haven’t discussed gas prices. Many would argue that the cost of a gallon of gas has been pinned above $3 for the entirety of Biden’s presidency. This isn’t exactly true although the reality isn’t a whole lot better. Gas prices rose above $3 per gallon in June 2021 and they’ve remained at or above this amount (on average) ever since. In mid January 2020 when Biden was inaugurated, gas was $2.48 per gallon. One year later (January 20, 2022), gas had increased to $3.33 per gallon, reaching a peak at $4.99 per gallon on June 16, 2022. 

Let’s look at this from the eyes of the consumer. SUVs are all the rage, as we know. Most everyone (including my family) has one if not two of them in your garage or driveway. Although great for families and when used as grocery getters, they’re not exactly known for their gas efficiency. For the purpose of this article, we’ll use my Honda Pilot as an example. How did gas prices impact my family? 

Avg MPG	24
Gas (per gallon)	$2.48*
Gallons	19.5
Cost	$48.36

*cost per gallon as of 1/23/20 per finder.com/gasprices 

Avg MPG	24
Gas (per gallon)	$3.82**
Gallons	19.5
Cost	$64.94

**cost per gallon as of 9/7/23 per finder.com/gasprices 

The same gas, in the same car, now costs $16.58 more than it did 3 years ago whenever I fill up my car. Although this doesn't sound like much, if I were to fill up both of my cars twice a month this would be an increase of at least $50 against my bottom line budget.

Once you add in the price of your car payment increasing by $200 to the price of gas having gone up, you’re looking at at least $225 to $250 more you have to spend to drive your new car around. As I’ve written before, not everyone should purchase a new car as they’re unable to afford it. Based on these sobering numbers, I’m hard pressed to think more than 10-15% of the entire US population would have the funds to stomach a new car payment on top of the gas needed to drive it down the street. 

The introduction of expensive electric cars (average price of $53,469) hardly appears to be the answer in the short term. I could certainly make an argument for electric cars from an environmental standpoint, but most Americans are treading water as it is. Finding a way to bring down the cost of gas to place into the vehicles most of us own seems to be a more prudent path to success. 

Perhaps Bidenomics is simply too far reaching and widespread for us to see the benefits immediately. This is entirely possible if not reasonable to assume. The problem is, by the time Americans see relief in their wallets and pocketbooks, there won’t be anything left but a wad of tissues to wipe away their tears on the way to bankruptcy court.

Buckle up and keep your hands inside the vehicle. This ride ain’t over yet.

It's Time We Raised the Bar

 America and Our Expectation Problem 

There are so many competing issues happening in America right now that it often becomes difficult to keep up. If you were to watch the news on a nightly basis you’d wonder how any of us have the ability to get from place to place without being carjacked, mugged or worse.

America has its fair share of problems, there’s no denying it. One problem is being overlooked by most because it’s so pervasive it’s become normal. A new normal as they say, one that’s going to be difficult to reverse without doing some serious soul searching. What is it you ask? Simply put: lowered expectations. 

Let’s start with an easy example. People, especially those younger than me I will admit, have been wearing questionable clothing to the airport for years. I began to take notice of this in the early 2000’s when I would take out of town flights for work. I wasn’t necessarily dressed up since I was headed to the hotel once I got there, but pajamas or something similar would not have been my first apparel of choice. I’m not saying we need to wear a fedora and trench coat while smoking a Pall Mall to invoke our inner Mad Men, but some semblance of care when being seen in public would be a good rule of thumb. 

Many are making an excuse that we’re simply getting over our Covid hangovers, that society needs time to adjust to the “new norm.” I couldn’t disagree more. America has been spiraling toward an epidemic of lower expectations for the past 25-30 years, perhaps longer. An argument can be made that today's societal norms are a direct result of the social upheaval experienced in the 1960s and forward. The “free” everything movements sound great in theory, but are harder to put into practice when human beings are involved. 

All of this has gotten way worse post Covid. I’ve gone to my local Wal-Mart more than I’d like to admit the past few weeks. Almost every time, the same “greeter” is standing by the metal detectors as they often do. I have “greeter” in quotes because he neither greeted me nor paid any attention to me at all. I’m not an expert on Wal-Mart job descriptions and I don’t have an employee handbook in front of me, but I’m pretty sure acknowledging my existence is part of the job. Most of the time I’ve witnessed him speaking to another co-worker. Trust me, I get the job is incredibly boring and monotonous, but nobody forces you to do a crappy job. Again, you should at least perform some form of greeting as I pass, I’d even take a head nod at this point. 

I had a plumber come to the house recently to fix a running toilet. Originally this was going to be a task I would take on myself, but my wife intervened. In retrospect, this does make sense given my handyman acumen or lack thereof. Anyway, our plumber showed up on time, was courteous and gave me a couple of options on what he could do. He provided me with price quotes and asked if we wanted him to proceed. After he was done, he asked if we needed anything else and went on his merry way. I was floored. The fact he was courteous, gave me upfront pricing and completed the job quickly and efficiently was beyond surprising to me. How sad is that? Shouldn’t this be the norm? Why am I surprised when someone does what they say they will do? 

The blight of lower expectations has found a way into our daily lives in almost every way. The majority of Americans will wake up, have an unhealthy breakfast, drink way too much coffee and pop 2-3 pills due to any number of ailments they may have. We do more to ruin our bodies before 9am than most people did all day 30 years ago. 

I’m not a Navy Seal. I don’t eat perfectly and exercise every single day of the week, but I do put my best foot forward 90% of the time. This should be the expectation and yet it’s not. Too many Americans are overweight, don’t exercise and simply don’t care about what they’re doing each day. Thankfully smoking has taken a dip over the years; however, it’s simply been replaced with vaping. I have a good rule of thumb: anything you’re ingesting into your body that can be bought at the local 7 Eleven is more than likely not good for you. 

Been to church lately? I will admit, I don’t go nearly as much as I should. Even though it’s been awhile for me, the last time I went I was surprised to see how dressed down everyone was. From shorts and t-shirts to flip flops and torn jeans, there was nothing out of bounds and all was considered acceptable. This is most likely due to the declining popularity of church. Essentially, they’ll take anyone who wants to walk through the door these days. Let’s be clear, I’m not saying everyone needs to dress in a 3 piece suit, but perhaps a little consideration as you enter the public and face your maker would be warranted and appropriate.  

Lowered expectations have found their way into our entertainment as well. What was once rated R level cursing in a show or sitcom is now considered wholly and completely appropriate for family viewing. My wife and I have the hardest time finding anything to watch with our kids because most of the material or language simply isn’t something they should be exposed to. Have we forgotten how innocent our kids are? If they turn on NBC and hear the main character say “shit” while discussing a sexual innuendo with their neighbor, I don’t think I’m an old curmudgeon when I say my 7 year old shouldn’t be hearing that. In the end, we’ve resorted to watching cooking shows as our form of family entertainment. Bonus: our girls now know how to do more than simply boil an egg, so our form of parenting is paying off. 

We’re going to get to the point where you can have full XXX love scenes on HBO and adult level comedies/dramas streaming on network TV, all in the name of progress and driving our society forward. I think it’s having the opposite effect. Exposing our kids and each other to much of the content that’s available simply isn’t healthy. As we sit there binging one show after another, eating Doritos and slurping down Coca Cola’s, the emptiness and depression of a wasted life must begin to creep in at some point.

How could I forget about the restaurants? I get it, Covid shut everything down and it's been tough to find help. I recognize the shortages and hiring issues. Even with all that, it's no excuse to either be rude or simply not care about getting an order correct. I find more often than not I receive sub par customer service while almost always receiving an incorrect order. As was the case with the plumber, I'm constantly surprised when the order is actually correct and the person serving me is both nice and courteous. This is not only sad, it's not sustainable as a country.  

Perhaps I’m wrong. Obviously there’s a majority of Americans who are satisfied living a mundane existence and treating each day with either disdain or nonchalance as though we’re all going to live forever. 

If you are what you eat, we’re a bloated and entitled country that’s simply given up on ever getting our hand out of that cookie jar or bag of chips. We need to move the needle by moving ourselves in a more positive direction and begin raising our expectations to align with the tenets of our founding fathers. 

Even portly John Adams once said: 

“Neither medicine nor diet nor anything would ever succeed with me, without exercise in open air.”

It's time we raise the bar, before the bar unceremoniously falls to the ground and our great nation along with it.

The American Flag, Our Great Unifier

Secondary Flags Should be Just That, Secondary 

Flags are becoming a big topic these days. We have a flag for almost everything. I’ll fully admit, I’m a certified flag dork. I especially love colonial American flags (Join or Die, Don’t Tread on Me, etc). There are also plenty of people that like to usher in the seasons with their Summer, Spring, Winter or Fall flags flying proudly from their house. Add in any number of sports flags to boot and it’s amazing we can even see our houses through all the logos waving proudly in the wind. 

Flags can be fun, they can tell a story and they can help us identify with a group or subset of like minded individuals. They can also be divisive or even downright evil. The Don’t Tread on Me flag mentioned above has been used by some white nationalist groups over the years while a black swastika on a field of white represents a regime so horrid I don’t even have to define it any further. 

Flags are normally secondary within America, the flag of our country taking a primary position a majority of the time. Yet, more and more, we’re beginning to see the flags people identify with as their first flag of choice. Black Lives Matter, Trump (MAGA), LGBTQ+, etc. All of these are beginning to assume a place of both prominence and definition of being. I’m a Trump voter, therefore that flag represents me. I’m either gay/lesbian/queer/etc, therefore the Intersex-Inclusive Progress Pride flag defines me. I support Black Lives Matters so this flag best defines who I am. Flags are great, except when used in this way. The American flag is being slowly and, what appears to be, deliberately marginalized. 

Go down most suburban neighborhood streets and you’ll see multiple American flags. Hanging proudly in front of houses, they symbolize everything that America is and has been throughout our history. This includes the good and the bad by the way. There’s no way to separate the two from one another. I always find it funny when people say, “that flag doesn’t represent me.” Sure it does. There is no other flag that could represent you as a citizen of this country. You can certainly have secondary flags that represent you as well but the primary should always be the American flag. 

What about those items that “bastardize” the American flag? This is also an issue. Similar to what’s done with the UK Union Jack, the stars and stripes are draped over every piece of clothing from skirts and bikinis to tank tops and hats adorned with glitter. People wear them as a point of pride, that much is true. But could there be anything more disrespectful to those who laid down their lives for our freedom than our flag being reduced to a $0.99 beer koozie or bottle opener? Noting the price, you can guess both of these items aren’t made in America either. 

I visited my old neighborhood recently. I was always proud that I was able to buy a condo at 27 years old in one of the older, more established neighborhoods of Charlotte. My condo would definitely be considered the “low rent” district of my neighbors considering the houses around me were hundreds of thousands of dollars more than what I could afford. Crazy enough, those same houses are now millions of dollars while my old condo has basically doubled in value. Time will do that in the case of real estate, especially nowadays. 

The houses I passed on my stroll through memory lane were as beautiful as ever; however, I did notice one glaring issue that dispels what I considered to be true everywhere. Limited patriotism in the form of American flags. I must’ve passed at least 50 houses. Of those 50, I counted 3 American flags. If we were doing the math, this is about 6% of the sample size I was able to witness. That’s incredibly surprising and pretty depressing if I’m being honest. In years past, you would’ve seen closer to 33% or maybe even 50% of the houses with an American flag proudly displayed somewhere on the property. 

I observed this trend when I was visiting Charleston earlier this summer as well. Using a similar wealth indicator (given the type and location of homes), the Charleston houses were sparse with American flags but had plenty of Ukrainian and other flags hanging from their homes. I found this both odd and slightly disheartening. 

This got me thinking. Why are these people, who are so obviously wealthy and have gained this wealth through this great nation of ours, not necessarily proud to display their patriotism? Do they think they could have accrued such wealth in a different country so it simply doesn’t matter where they live? I’m not sure of the answer but I can venture a guess. 

I’ve discussed this in previous articles but patriotism is now seen as Alt-right or somehow aligned with Trump. Unfortunately, the American flag falls into this category as well. Trump has done such a great job of appropriating the flag within his propaganda that many are unable to distinguish Trump’s America from the rest of us. This needs to be fixed, and quick. 

Many have no issue flying the flag of their favorite sports team from their house. I actually noticed one house on my aforementioned walk that had two flags hanging from their front porch, both representing local sports teams. This isn’t a crime and there’s certainly nothing wrong with it. You and anyone else has every right to hang whatever flag you choose from your house. I do mean, ANY flag. Just be ready for the consequences if one of those happens to offend those around you. It’s a free country but your neighbors are equally free to despise and shun you as they see fit based on what you display. 

There are flags that are offensive, of that we can have no doubt. The American flag cannot and should not be one of them. If it is, we will have lost all sense of what it is that we identify with. The American flag is the glue that binds us together. All other flags are simply chapters within the book of our country’s history. You identify with that particular chapter (i.e. BLM, Trump, etc) and are able to display it for all to see. That’s great and as it should be. But it’s equally important to have the actual book on display as well, to show that we’re all reading from the same text. To mitigate or slowly eliminate the American flag from our houses, restaurants or sports stadiums is to remove the book binding from the book altogether, allowing the pages to scatter in the wind. 

Pride is defined as, "the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated." Our flag has landed on the moon, won the Indy 500 and been on display for every great achievement in our history. I wasn't alive when our soldiers fought in the battle of Iwo Jima, but our flag is immortalized in the famous statue, standing proudly on a leaning flagpole. The flag is our great unifer. There is no America without it.

Go ahead and hang the flags of pride for the particular group you identify with but, do me a favor, put the stars and stripes in a place of prominence. You may not have done a ton of things in your life to be proud of, but you can bet our flag has. A symbol of freedom and liberty, it's the flag of our fathers and mothers. It's you, me and all of us. Blood has been spilled, battles won and lost and soldiers' graves draped reverently to honor the ultimate sacrifice they made for your freedom and mine.

We're all incredibly lucky to have been given the gift of freedom we enjoy on a daily basis. Provide a small token of thanks to lady liberty by proudly displaying her chosen garment in a place of prominence outside your home or office. She may not be able to say thanks, but the rest of us will.

Keep the Change? Not an Option

Lasting Change Takes Time and Conversation  

There were times over the past 3-5 years where I thought I was going nuts. The world was changing around me at such a rapid pace it was impossible to keep up with it. In general, I'm not a fan of change. I can definitely roll with the punches to a certain extent but real, serious change to anything can be mind numbing and crippling to me. Our views on America and American pride are changing and I don’t always agree with it or want to accept it.

Take Captain America for example. First published in 1940, Captain America was created as a symbol of American freedom, strength and pride while World War II was raging across Europe. Although America hadn’t yet entered the war, the super hero was most assuredly seen as a way to boost morale and act as a sort of positive propaganda for the country. Who would be our Captain America today? What would he/she look like? Would they even be a man or a woman or would they identify as something else? The very sentence I just wrote wouldn’t even have made sense 10 years ago and yet, we’re asked to simply accept and respect the change for what it is: progress. It may well be, but the fact of the matter is, Captain America or any other superhero espousing the greatness or might of America would never be created today. No one would want it. 

In order to understand why so many of us are confused on a daily basis we need to only look at how much the world has changed. During the formative days of my youth (the 90s), we had an “I don’t care what you do, just be happy” kind of attitude. I always considered it similar to what was seen in the 60s except a lot more built up angst, flannel and perhaps better hygiene habits. I was always proud of who we were as a generation. Our parents had been a bit too conservative, caring about whether someone had long hair, was gay or lived a lifestyle different from their own. We simply didn’t care, none of that concerned us. Do whatever you want to do, just respect yourself and those around you. It was a pretty simple concept and one I thought we’d be able to build on as we got older. Unfortunately, the building blocks grew wings and started sprouting every which way. 

In my humble opinion, the iPhone is the single greatest product of my lifetime. The genius of Steve Jobs and his team cannot be understated. The smart phone has transformed our society. Unfortunately, the transformation isn’t always for the better. Human beings are flawed creatures. We say things we shouldn’t, do things we wish we could take back and have regrets on a daily and/or weekly basis. If you’re reading this thinking, “that’s not me, I have zero regrets.” My response would be, “hey Jesus, great to finally meet you.” You’re not perfect and neither am I, that’s the point. We all make mistakes, it’s part of what makes us human. Yet, having a camera and microphone at the ready allowing you to take video of total strangers and post online is the very definition of a big brother society. This exposes all of our flaws and inhibitions, giving the populace an ability to pass judgment and sentence you without any further discussion. A trial of your peers happens in a town square format, it’s the digital version of stoning someone to death. 

The digital society that we now live in has allowed us to move further away from humanity and embrace a mass construct sharing the same thoughts, ideas and feelings. This sheep mentality has wormed its way into our politics, parenting methodologies and social structures. How else to explain people being ok with children being castrated in order to change their gender? Children used to be a coveted part of our society worthy of our protection. They’ve now been reduced to chattel in the ever expanding gender identity debate. Count me in on those who think it’s insane that some states provide boys the decision making ability to cut off their own penis before they’re old enough to legally have a beer. Providing flexibility, understanding and empathy for those children struggling with their gender identity is extremely important. Showing a little common sense as an adult in providing them the ability to find themselves in a safe and caring environment is a much better idea than life changing surgery. Rather than altering the course of their lives forever, allow them the freedom to find themselves as they struggle with raging hormones and daily changes to their emotional state. Protecting our children from this madness is the only course of action worthy of discussion. 

There have been a couple of online interactions I’ve watched recently that have provided me hope for the future of America. One was a Tucker Carlson interview with Ice Cube. The fact I’m even able to type those two names in the same sentence gives me hope. The image of a staunch right wing conservative like Carlson sitting next to the venerable Ice Cube having a conversation about the state of America was a welcome sight. Regardless of what you think about Tucker Carlson, interviews like this one are essential for America to move forward and face head on the many issues that present themselves on a daily basis. The interview is available on X (aka Twitter) and I would encourage you to watch it. 

The second interaction I watched more recently. Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy was approached by a pan-sexual reporter who asked his opinion on the LBGTQ+ community and same sex couples. He calmly responded that he believes there is a “Tyranny of the minority” happening in our country. This is in response to the “Tyranny of the majority” to remove the majority that has been in power up to this point in our country. He further states he thinks it’s wrong when agendas are forced upon people who either don’t agree with them or fundamentally disagree due to their religious beliefs. In both interviews, there were disagreements and different ways of viewing a particular issue. Rather than forcing a divide between them, there was civil discourse and a conversation about the differences. We need more of this in America.

As a country, we have a lot of issues. The fact we’re finally facing many of them is a step in the right direction. We just need to keep in mind that real and lasting change is both hard and time consuming. As I’ve gotten older, I realize the younger generation is almost always the more progressive. There’s a tendency to want to change the world and society for the better. I certainly commend this thought and would want nothing more than to make America a more inclusive and better society for my children. Forcing agendas on them in the name of change will not help us get there. It’s my job as a parent to provide my kids with the proper foundation on which our country can continue to positively progress. It’s not the job of her school or a government administrator to fill her head with their opinion of what America is and isn’t. You can leave that to me, thanks anyway.

Change in the name of eradicating our freedoms is not the answer. Taking videos of someone at their lowest moment(s) and posting online to either embarrass or shame is not positive progress. Listen to your neighbor. Have a conversation with someone who resides in a different socio economic sphere than your own. Understand how inflation is impacting them differently than you. Understand how they may be struggling with their identity or mental state. Understand, listen and have empathy for each other. 

Sounds easy enough, but it can be hard to hear the progress we’re making above all the shouting.

What is the American Dream Anyway?

Newsflash: You're Already Living It

You hear it referenced all the time. The American dream, but what is it? Is it a set of American values we once had but that no longer exist? Is it a series of items you own like a house and/or a car? What about owning multiple houses and multiple cars? Would any of these fit the bill of living the American dream? To me, the answer is pretty simple, but we’ll get to that in a minute. 

More often than not, the American dream is tied to two things: ownership of a house and a car. On the surface, I would agree with both of these. Owning your home allows you to have a sense of place, belonging and safety. There’s nothing quite like coming home from work and pulling into your driveway. As you enter your house, your wife and kids are all sitting in the kitchen, waiting for your arrival. The smell of home, the feeling you get as you enter your house, these are all sensory emotions tied to our basic human instincts. I still remember the smell of my house when I was a kid. Even though I didn’t have a perfect or idyllic childhood, home was safe. I knew what to expect and that was always comforting. You can have a similar feeling as you enter your apartment, but a house is special. That’s YOUR grass in the front yard, YOUR furniture on the deck, YOUR driveway. As long as you pay the bank and taxes when they come due, the house is yours. You won’t get that same feeling as you enter a rented apartment or condo. 

What about a car? There’s definitely something special about owning your car. It’s amazing to me how people forget that feeling. Owning a car is like having your first car, forever. It’s yours, no one can take it from you and you know all the quirks and gizmos it has to offer (both good and bad). You don’t get that when you lease a car I can tell you that. Leasing is just renting, same with an apartment, there’s zero pride of ownership. By the way, pride of ownership extends beyond cars. Owning your furniture, your TVs, your clothes, anything and everything. All of this is important to nail down what I’m about to reveal as the true American Dream. 

Ready for it?. Freedom. Yes, freedom, that’s the American Dream. Don’t think it’s that simple? Trust me, it is. When you own the things in your life, you have the freedom to do pretty much whatever you want. Remove the false expectations heaped on you by TV shows, your friends, whomever. Your dream is most likely different than mine and that’s perfectly fine. But if your dream is to lease a BMW while scraping by each month paying for your mortgage and your kids to attend private school, that’s not a dream. That sounds more like a nightmare. A nightmare created of your own doing that will never help you attain the American Dream because you’re not living in reality. 

I’d much rather own a 2004 Chevy Malibu and live in a trailer for the rest of my life with my freedom intact than to lease a new BMW and live in an upscale apartment owned by a government that provided it to me. I’m not sure those younger than me would agree with this sentiment but it’s important to understand what life would be like if we didn’t have the freedoms we enjoy today. We need only look to China and their social credit system, continued COVID lock downs and restrictions on free speech to understand how we’d be made to live. 

You wake up everyday and are provided the greatest gift anyone can ever bestow on you and it was free. You did nothing to deserve it, you didn’t work or ask for it and most of us certainly don’t appreciate it. I’m attempting to avoid making this a protracted “Freedom isn’t free” sermon but it’s truly not. There are citizens living among us who sacrificed their lives so you and I could wake up in the morning and make major life choices like going to Chick Fil-A or Wendy’s for breakfast after an all night bender. The ridiculousness of it all is mind blowing, which is why I always get fired up when I hear people say the American Dream is dead. 

The American Dream exists because America still exists. As a citizen of our country you’re provided with so many options and pathways to success it’s astounding. You’re reading one of those pathways from me right now. I honestly have made nothing monetarily with my writing thus far; however, success never comes easy or quickly. I consider what I’m doing practice to allow myself to have the success I desire. I have the freedom to do this, everyday if I choose. How great is it that we have the choices laid out in front of us to be successful or not. We simply need to work hard and strive toward ownership in all things. This will allow us to break the ties of debt, our reliance on the government and begin to build wealth for ourselves and future generations. 

Many believe America is in decline or is “past its prime.” Don’t believe it. The propaganda being shoved down our throats suggests this is true. This is purposeful and targeted, a way to make us believe we’ve lost all hope and only “they” (big government) can save us. A recent Gallup Poll revealed a steady decline in young adults who were proud to be American. The study showed 18-29 year-olds in 2013 “extremely” or “very” proud to be an American 85% of the time while a similar age group of 18-34 year-olds were only 42% likely to say the same in 2023. A 43% decrease for similar age groups in ten years! Years of media bias skewed toward the idea of a world economy and cultural socialism have resulted in a young America that’s listing at sea without a paddle. However, where there is darkness, there is usually a light if you only look for it. I just so happen to see a couple of them on the horizon. 

The disgruntled among us has opened the door for outside presidential candidates to begin making noise. I will admit, I’m enamored with both RFK Jr. and Vivek Ramaswamy. Although they don’t align or agree on everything and I certainly don’t agree with all they have to say, both are intriguing candidates for different reasons. RFK Jr. is a true Kennedy Democrat who wants to restore peace and posterity to America while leaning on liberal values that have been lost within his party. Vivek’s mantra of “truth” speaks to his desire of making real change within the establishment and bringing back the principles of government on which America was founded. Each of them would bring something different to the table but both are using a refreshing word when speaking of what’s important for our country to thrive in the future: freedom.

I bring this up because it’s important we drive out the current politicians that are bent on dismantling our country piece by piece and return sanity to our everyday lives. Less government intervention, the destruction of censoring free speech on social media and a restoration of freedom as we know it will help to restore the dream that’s out of reach for so many of our fellow citizens. 

A dream is defined as, “a cherished aspiration, ambition or ideal.” The main word that sticks out to me here is “cherished.” We must cherish the freedoms that have been bestowed to us by our forefathers allowing the American Dream to move forward for a new generation. 

Thomas Jefferson said it best: 

“My God! How little do my countrymen know what precious blessings they are in possession of, and which no other people on earth enjoy! 

Wake up America, you’re already living in a dream.