Be an Adult, Leave Kids Out of It

Childhood is Special, We Need to Keep it That Way 

One of the great things about being a parent is you're able to see the world through the eyes of your child. We’re all in such a rush to grow up that when we do, we completely forget the feeling of being young. It’s somewhat easy to remember being in your 20’s or 30’s since these are the years when major life choices happen (marriage, your first new car, first house, etc). It’s harder to remember being 7 years old and what that actually felt like. 

The carefree attitude of your day, when the biggest thing you had to worry about was whether you were getting chicken nuggets or fish nuggets at lunch (not sure they serve those anymore, thankfully). Being a kid is the greatest. That’s why it’s odd to me that so many parents and people in power are wanting our kids to grow up quicker than they should. 

I listened to gangster rap in high school. You can picture it, suburban white kid in my parents 3,000 square foot house in a nice neighborhood listening to young Black men rapping about their difficult and violent ridden lives. It didn’t make any sense of course, given the fact my life was nothing like theirs. I liked the beats, the various rappers that would enter in and out of a song and quite honestly, I listened to it because my friends did. 

That’s kind of what you do when you’re a kid. You’re more than willing to set aside your individualism to be “one with the herd.” This allows you to not only fit in but avoid scrutiny and judgment. It’s normal and it’s something many grown ups take with them as they enter adulthood. 

Kids are impressionable. I don’t need a Masters degree or a PHd to know this is true. My 16 year old step-daughter has a mind of her own and is quick to separate herself from the herd, no matter the consequence. She’s pretty mature for her age and always has been. 

My 7 year old on the other hand will most likely land somewhere in the middle. Although I don’t see her high school self bullying someone just because her friends are, it’s easy to change who you are to be accepted. This is especially true when you’re young and your entire world view is defined by the circle of friends you have at school and/or the neighborhood where you live. 

Childhood is a great time in our lives. This is especially true during the grammar school years, when the school work load is less, recess is an integral part of your social awareness and your worries in life are at a minimum. 

I wake my daughter up each morning with a puppet show. We take one of her various “stuffies” and I let my so-so voice impressionist talent do the talking. She loves it and considers it part of her morning routine. She’s able to wake up in a good mood and get ready for her day, which most likely centers around what she’s having for lunch or whether her friends will all get along. 

Keep in mind what I’ve just told you. I wake my daughter up each day by mimicking voices with her stuffed animals. I don’t think she sees these animals as real necessarily, but it’s somewhat of an in-between phase in her life. She’s probably assuming her stuffed animals, cartoons, and action figures aren’t real in the same sense that she is, but if they’re not, what else isn’t? It’s a mysterious time in her life when so many things are in question while also providing her with a sense of wonder on a daily basis. 

Why then are we so eager to have our kids grow up so quickly? I’ve talked about this in previous articles, but why would we want to expose children to subjects they couldn’t possibly understand? Sex is certainly one of them and it’s a big one. 

You would never be able to convince me that my 7 year old daughter, the same one who questions whether her "stuffies" have feelings, would know what it means for two adults to have sex. This alone is hard enough for her to fathom. 

Add on top of this the idea of gender fluidity and the like, and we’re simply going down avenues that no child would be able to grasp. Again, there’s zero chance you can tell me they would be able to. They can be conditioned to believe one thing or another, but to fully grasp it would be challenging to near impossible for most children. 

It’s harder and harder to find a movie to watch as well. They’re either Rated G and simply terrible for a family to watch together or PG-13 with way more cursing, violence and sex or sexual innuendos than you’d want your kids to be exposed to. 

We actually loved watching the movie Ready Player One. We’ve seen it more than a few times and all of us agreed it was a great movie. Having said that, the number of times they said “shit” or something similar was tough to take with my then 6 year old watching it with us. Perhaps this makes us bad parents for not watching Clifford 2 for the umpteenth time as a family. I won’t apologize for not subjecting myself to one more viewing of a big dog bumbling about town laying waste in his wake. 

“You’re just getting old.” Perhaps, and this is very true as I constantly have to remind myself how old I am. It’s also true there were curse words and certain inappropriate subjects in the movies of my childhood. More than once I’ve noticed gay slurs in the movies I watched as a kid. Some as late as the mid 2000s in movies like American Pie and those of a similar genre. I don’t condone this either. 

I think featuring same sex couples makes a ton of sense in movies, TV shows and entertainment in general. It’s a facet of our society and one that we should expose children to in a positive way to remove the stigmas that have landed on this population for decades up to this point.

What’s positive? A loving same sex couple raising their children in a happy home would be more positive than a picture of that same couple having sex in a children’s book. Somehow the two get mixed together as the same thing or same level of appropriateness. 

My point in all this is to simply use common sense when it comes to our children. When it comes to my kids, and my biological daughter in particular, she’s my reason for doing just about anything. There is no more important responsibility that I have in this world than to keep her safe, make her happy and provide her with the best childhood possible. This will hopefully lead to her being a responsible adult who will leave a positive mark on society. 

Common sense isn’t common. No doubt you’ve all heard this saying before. This can be light-hearted when speaking about using a turn signal or grilling a burger on the grill but when it comes to kids, it’s tragic. 

Like most things right now, kids are being weaponized for political reasons on both sides of the aisle. Enough. We need to remember that we’re dealing with the future of our great country and the leaders of tomorrow. More importantly, kids represent the best of us. They’re what we once were prior to being jaded, self centered and disillusioned. 

A utopian society is defined as an "ideal society that doesn't exist in reality." It may as well be defined as "an ideal society in which children exist." Don't take that away from them, not just yet. They're too busy anyway, Barbie just called and apparently her dream house needs redecorating. 

It's always something.

Memoirs of a Semi Retiree

The Life Less Traveled, But Worth It 

I’ve had some people follow up with me lately to ask how I’m doing and whether or not I still like not working. I’m not sure who would ever answer that they love to work rather than doing pretty much whatever they want. I’m no different in that regard. Not having the pressures of a full time job weighing me down on a daily basis has been pretty amazing. It’s allowed my head to clear off all the noise and provided me an opportunity to truly think about any number of things that may pop into my head. This has provided me time for a lot of self reflection. 

I’m not a person who enjoys accepting gifts from anyone. I learned a hard lesson when I was younger and received a pair of Air Jordan’s for my 16th birthday. My mother had gone to great lengths to find and buy them for me at the whopping price of $140 ($305 in 2023). Long story short, the shoes were a bit too big and not exactly what I wanted so I was less than appreciative. Through the hurt and frustration in my Mother’s eyes, I learned a valuable lesson to not only appreciate the gifts provided to me but do better in attempting to provide for myself whenever possible. From that moment forward, I would be my “own man” rather than relying on anyone else. 

You can see how this mantra would cause difficulty given my current situation. My wife works, I don’t. Although she’s incredibly understanding of my search to find what I really want to be doing, my own guilt and self loathing can sometimes cause issues for both of us. I obviously love to write and find that it’s both therapeutic and rewarding; however, it’s done nothing to help pay any bills up to this point. 

One of the things I’ve found fascinating are the number of people that I see out and about during the day. I honestly thought everywhere I went would be a ghost town with a few retirees, mom’s with kids or perhaps a dad or two in a similar situation to mine. It’s been amazing to see stores filled with people of all ages and restaurants somewhat bustling in the middle of the day. People are walking around shopping and/or going about their lives, on a Tuesday afternoon no less. I’d been locked inside a conference room or sitting in a cube for so long, I just figured everyone did the same. Obviously that’s not true. 

I even visited a brewery for my birthday a few weeks back. I was alone of course because, well, all my friends have jobs. It was probably the first birthday I can remember where I was by myself. It felt good. It’s liberating to know you can wake up and the day is yours, to do with as you wish. I wanted to have lunch and have a beer, so that’s what I did. Simple. That’s what I’ve been able to validate. 

When you break things down, REALLY break them down, what do we need? Do you NEED the new car, pair of shoes or Apple Watch? Of course not. We buy these things because we can and feel they will provide fulfillment. They do up to a point, but then what? I can’t be the only one who dreams of owning something, finally attaining it and then wonders what’s next. I can tell you what’s next, buying more stuff in an attempt to fill the void. 

Only when you don’t have the ability to buy the things you think you need will you realize you never needed them at all. There was a time when I could buy pretty much anything, within reason of course. If I wanted a boat, chances are I could save for it and have it within a matter of months. The new shoes or Apple Watch I referenced weren’t a big deal either, I could’ve bought them if I wanted them. The reality is, I never did because I’m simply not wired that way. I don’t really care about material things, the pair of Jordans and the episode that followed taught me that at a young age. I’ve never been one to care too much about owning one thing or the other, that’s what made me realize we’d be just fine on less income. 

Is it a struggle at times? Of course. Anytime you take away a large amount of your income it’s going to be tough. Couple this with the worst inflation we’ve seen since the Carter years and the added stress of simply buying new shoes for the kids becomes something to consider and budget around (especially when you don’t want to dip into your savings or incur any debt). Thankfully we planned ahead and paid off debt while locking in a 30 year fixed mortgage at a very low rate. Many Americans aren’t as lucky or didn’t have the forethought to plan for the future. They’re feeling the pain now of the bad decisions made 5 years earlier. 

This is another good lesson to learn. Planning for the future and thinking about where you want to be 1, 5, and 10 years from now are critical to the success of any individual or marriage. When I first “retired”, I didn’t think I’d have to go back to work. My hope was that I’d be able to find something “on the side” that I’d be able to do to help pay for some of our monthly bills. This has proved harder than originally thought. 

Finding the side hustle is hard enough but the fact that everything is so expensive has only exacerbated the need to bring in additional income. I’m now exploring local and/or remote positions that both fit my skill set and align with what I’d like to be doing. Life will continue to throw challenges your way, the ability to pivot and embrace the new path needed to be forged is the key to success. 

I’m an impatient person by nature. It was one of the things I was most worried about when I stopped working. Would I allow myself the ability to breathe and simply enjoy this gift of time off that I’d been given. To a certain extent I’ve done better than I thought. The fact I can go to the gym in the middle of the day while seeing my daughter off to school in the morning and picking her up in the afternoon has been amazing. My routine has been sliced and diced from what I had been used to and that’s been refreshing. 

Not having to run around and stress about work while leaving time for family functions and exercise routines has been life changing. Similar to my comment about seeing people out and about on a Tuesday afternoon, it opened my eyes that my life can be different in the future if I want it to be. 

I used to think that work of any kind was the problem. Perhaps I no longer wanted to work or didn’t have the internal drive to succeed. I’ve shattered this myth by continuing to set routines in my life while doing my best to stay away from a daily binge of Netflix, Amazon Prime or any number of political/social videos featured on X. It’s incredibly easy to fall into the trap of giving in to all of the entertainment options thrown in our face. Just like I don’t eat a pizza everyday (much as I’d like to) staying disciplined and trending toward positive hobbies and interests has proven to be successful. 

So, where does this leave me? Would I say this has been a successful escapade into the depths of the unknown? Simply put, yes. There are days when I miss being able to think of myself as a Vice President at a major bank with a team of folks that work for me. To say otherwise would be lying. And yet, the number of times I think about this and actually care are dwindling by the day. 

My life is better off having taken this unknown path, no matter where it may lead in the end. I was unhappy, depressed and wasn’t providing a happy household for my wife and daughters. Your life is your own, but you also need to consider the people around you who share in your life when making decisions that ultimately affect them. 

If you’re reading this and you’re starting to see the fog forming around your life, consider a step back and a reset. It’s scary and can be challenging at times, but anything worth having always is. 

The State of Our Economy: Transportation

Buckle Up America  

I'm usually quick to defend a current president on economic policy due to the fact much of what's impacting our daily lives may be out of their hands. This is especially true with first term presidents. It's hard to steer a ship as large as the American economy, especially in only four years. There are often times when a president inherits a mess, whether that's an ongoing war or any number of laws passed that won't expire for years down the road. No matter if you're a Republican or Democrat, this is almost always true to some extent. It's not to say policy can't be put in place to move the needle in a different direction, it just may take more time than originally expected.

I’ve heard and read from many on the left that our “economy is strong” and that we’re “doing much better than we were” prior to Biden taking office. Let’s remove identity politics from the equation and focus on the economy. Is this true? Are we better off? I was not only skeptical but wondered how that’s even possible to say given the cost of everything, but I was more than willing to have my mind changed.  

Given this is such a broad based topic that could literally fill multiple textbooks, I figured the best approach was to provide perspective through a series of articles. The first article will focus on transportation with subsequent articles focused on the other two topics. In all, the series will cover the following: 

• Transportation (gas & cars) 

• Housing (rental & ownership)

• Food (specifically groceries) 

I'm not an economist and I'm not claiming to be. I am, however, a consumer of the goods and services being provided to me in America. Those goods and services appear to be way more expensive than they used to be. In the case of transportation, my assumption was reality.

Transportation 

Per Kelley Blue Book (KBB), the new car average transaction price was $48,334 ($44,700 for non luxury cars) as of July 2023. The good news is, transaction prices have dropped 2.7% or $1,335 since the beginning of the year. The not so good news is that transaction prices are 26% higher than in July 2020, where a new car would've cost you $38,378.

As I’m sure many of you are already aware, the reason for the price increases of both new and used cars were directly correlated with a worldwide chip shortage due to Covid. Inventories fell, new cars were scarce and prices rose to record highs. Inventory was much lower than what's considered normal (60 days). As of July 2023, we're close to normalized once again as the auto industry stocked 56 days worth of vehicles per KBB.

Per a recent search on Market Watch, the average car loan across all credit scores is 6.58% for new cars and 11.17 for used cars. Even if you had a Superprime credit score (781-850) your rate would exceed 5% (5.07% to be exact). Depending on where you look and how the data is sliced, these rates could be quite a bit higher. So, what does this mean if you’re looking to buy a car? 

July 2023 

Avg Price of New Car	Monthly Payment
48,334*	$967

*6% sales tax included, financed for 60 months

overall amount financed $51,234 @ 5%

July 2020

Avg Price of New Car	Monthly Payment
38,378*	$768

*6% sales tax included, financed for 60 months

overall amount financed $40,681 @ 4%

As you can see, with zero down and the interest rates where they are, we’re looking at paying close to $1,000 a month for a new car. When compared to July 2020, that same car cost $10,000 less while your monthly payment was $200 lower each month. That represents a 20% increase.  

We haven’t discussed gas prices. Many would argue that the cost of a gallon of gas has been pinned above $3 for the entirety of Biden’s presidency. This isn’t exactly true although the reality isn’t a whole lot better. Gas prices rose above $3 per gallon in June 2021 and they’ve remained at or above this amount (on average) ever since. In mid January 2020 when Biden was inaugurated, gas was $2.48 per gallon. One year later (January 20, 2022), gas had increased to $3.33 per gallon, reaching a peak at $4.99 per gallon on June 16, 2022. 

Let’s look at this from the eyes of the consumer. SUVs are all the rage, as we know. Most everyone (including my family) has one if not two of them in your garage or driveway. Although great for families and when used as grocery getters, they’re not exactly known for their gas efficiency. For the purpose of this article, we’ll use my Honda Pilot as an example. How did gas prices impact my family? 

Avg MPG	24
Gas (per gallon)	$2.48*
Gallons	19.5
Cost	$48.36

*cost per gallon as of 1/23/20 per finder.com/gasprices 

Avg MPG	24
Gas (per gallon)	$3.82**
Gallons	19.5
Cost	$64.94

**cost per gallon as of 9/7/23 per finder.com/gasprices 

The same gas, in the same car, now costs $16.58 more than it did 3 years ago whenever I fill up my car. Although this doesn't sound like much, if I were to fill up both of my cars twice a month this would be an increase of at least $50 against my bottom line budget.

Once you add in the price of your car payment increasing by $200 to the price of gas having gone up, you’re looking at at least $225 to $250 more you have to spend to drive your new car around. As I’ve written before, not everyone should purchase a new car as they’re unable to afford it. Based on these sobering numbers, I’m hard pressed to think more than 10-15% of the entire US population would have the funds to stomach a new car payment on top of the gas needed to drive it down the street. 

The introduction of expensive electric cars (average price of $53,469) hardly appears to be the answer in the short term. I could certainly make an argument for electric cars from an environmental standpoint, but most Americans are treading water as it is. Finding a way to bring down the cost of gas to place into the vehicles most of us own seems to be a more prudent path to success. 

Perhaps Bidenomics is simply too far reaching and widespread for us to see the benefits immediately. This is entirely possible if not reasonable to assume. The problem is, by the time Americans see relief in their wallets and pocketbooks, there won’t be anything left but a wad of tissues to wipe away their tears on the way to bankruptcy court.

Buckle up and keep your hands inside the vehicle. This ride ain’t over yet.